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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

How to make hot chocolate. Fast.

Bring to boil 3/4 mug of water for each person who will be enjoying hot chocolate today. Throw in some baker's chocolate--about two squares per cup, more or less according to personal preference/how much chocolate you have (or you can add 70%+ dark chocolate). Whisk around 'til it's all blended nicely. Turn down the heat some during this part of the process so that the chocolate doesn't boil. Add sugar and vanilla to taste. Throw in some of that pricey cinnamon, too. Now take the chocolate off the heat and pour it into the mugs, to 3/4 full.

Here's the patentable part: treat it like coffee. Add whipping cream (half''n'half if you're a lightweight, but it's 200x better with cream) 'til it's the right color. Add whiskey or your favorite adulterant until it's the right strength. You can add the whipping cream while the chocolate's still on the stove if you want your hot chocolate to burn the roof of your mouth off, but you must keep this brief and get the pot off the stove before you cook the cream. This is the only way to avoid that gnarly boiled milk taste hot chocolate always has unless it is my hot chocolate. Do not add alcoholic adulterants while the stuff is on the stove, duh.

Do not allow powdered milk to touch any part of your person at any time. Powdered milk is why we do not eat the crappy supermarket chocolate offered to us free at shrimp tasting. Powdered milk is foul, and if living through a depression means eating powdered milk, let's just agree now not to live through it.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why do I have to be picky abt chocolate? Isn't it all the same? What cld be better than 3 Muskateers? No snobby dark choco cld be better than 3 Muskateers!

Anonymous said...

And the way you make hot chocolate fast is by using Sweees Meees har!

Okay okay, I know those packets are chemical farms, I know...

This home cookin saves money but don't it take up all yo free time?

Robin P said...

Ban all anonymous posting at Nom, nom, nom! I have never met anyone named "anonymous". It is the lazy coward's way of posting comments with typos and bad grammar without having to take responsibility for them. Boo, hiss...

Anonymous said...

I just want to say that I, the REAL anonymous, did not post the other two anonymous posts. I believe this to be a smear campaign at the hands of one "robin p" to eliminate the happy, fun-filled little rants that I, the REAL anonymous, like to contribute.

Anonymous said...

har!

(tee hee!)

Robin P said...

Anonymous #2 and anonymous #1, you are both worthless cowards, IMO. And neither of you have much worthwhile to contribute to Om Nom's prestigious, mostly-food blog. To wit, I may have talked about using powdered milk in an economical hot chocolate recipe of my own making, but you, YOU! You spoke about Swiss Miss. An investigative report showed conclusively that it was a search for hidden caches of Swiss Miss in Saddam Hussein's version of Iraq that led the U.S. to invade that nation, thus costing us dearly since 2003 in blood, treasure, military readiness and favorable world opinion. So, for you to recommending the corporate-food, chemical-factory version of hot chocolate known as Swiss Miss is tantamount to treason! I still believe you should be banned from posting here until it is revealed that you are Dick Cheney's third cousin, twice-removed.