All I'd need is a sauna and I could definitely make weight. I'm obviously crazy enough. The only thing is, I'd rather clip my toenails than ride Poppy's Little Candy Legs in the Preakness. So there's still a hurdle, there, I guess. I guess you're supposed to be a little more motivated or something. Also, I can't read Seabiscuit. If that's a requirement, forget it. And then there's the fact that I'll stab myself in the eye with a shish-kebob skewer before I do competetive weightloss again. That, as well, would constitute a stumbling block.
I weighed in a few hours ago and found that I have achieved the mass of a stunted high school girl. Of course, now I've had six tongue tacos (sans shells) and a pint of guacamole (sans chips), so now I have the mass of a bloated stunted high school girl, and man, does it feel good!
My co-workers are busy stinking the place up with microwave popcorn and various frozen Stouffers preparations. If I had to be them, I'd read Seabiscuit and develop an interest in the fortunes of Poppy's Little Candy Legs, just so as not to have to eat anymore.
Eight and a half pounds in 10 days. All thanks to horseracing. If Slick beats that, then I will be sanguine and shake his hand: he's a champion cheater.
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4 comments:
All I can say is, BRAVO! Bravissimo! What a compelling tale. I loved every second of reading about the weight loss challenge. I so hope you win! You deserve it, if for no other reason than you persevered in the most insane way and got a good a story to tell out of it!
The suspense is awful!
I can't wait to find out if you won. You can't have lost, can you? This foe of yours can't possibly be as crazy as you. Oh, I mean, as determined as you.
All I can say is this: my friend Chavie LOVES that SeaBisquick book! She do!
Chavie and Seabisquick, for rills dough? You better tell her stay away from that! Seabiscuit is the equine Svengali.
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