Heeeey, I'm back!* This blog is about how to eat good on bitch money.

*This is a lie.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I made mayonnaise.

I used the Julia Child recipe, which turns out to be needlessly complicated and panicky because it's based on the stoneaged technology of the whisk. If you have a stick blender you don't really need to psyche yourself out with fears of curdling.

Problems I had:
  • I should've made it in a big mug instead of trying to mess with a bowl. The stick blender wants a narrow, tall container, not a wide, flat container.
  • Julia wants you to use yolks only. This means you are left with whites. You make an egg white omelet. You realize eggwhite omelets really suck.
  • My free-range egg yolks are really yellow. My extra virgin cold pressed twice dated $7/oz California-hippy-excreted olive oil is really green. My mayonnaise was chartreuse.
  • I was remembering the delicious warm aoli salad dressing I had at the French restaurant where my cousin that married the Smith girl had his wedding reception. But I used the juice of a crone of an old lemon I found lying around, and that plus the robust hairyleggedhippylady tang of the muscley olive oil I used and the oops, a little too much mustard made a real deisel-fueled product. Not a Smith girl mayonnaise. Sturgis girl mayonnaise, moreso.


Anonymous said...

Hi, I have a question -- did you eat your chartreuse mayonnaise with some green eggs and ham? Yummy!

Nom, nom, nom! said...

No, because I'm not eating anything larger than a stick of Trident these days, but it's an excellent idea. I'll try it as soon as I beat Slick!

Anonymous said...

LOL -- Beat that Slick!

Robin P said...

Nomx3!, Rob L from N Myrtle Beach SC here. I thought you already knew how to make mayonnaise?! You gave a recipe on the NY Times Well blog about 3 months ago.

Julia Child was a spy for America! No wonder her mayonnaise recipe is difficult to follow. I am surprised her recipe doesn't call for a tiny, hidden microphone.

And you post more to the Well blog than you do here. Plus, you don't give me the time of day at Well anymore! What happened to us, dearie???!!!

Nom, nom, nom! said...

I do too give you the T.O.D. all the time! I said you had good ideas about cheerleader outfits! You don't LISTEN, that's the REAL problem with US.

Robin P said...

Ah, shucks, Nom... I still love you! I'm coming up for another crazy weekend! We can go leaf-peeping and I can meet Ditchweed Guy! Yeah!

I'll try to find you at the Well blog somewhere, and make up another entry about what happened on my imaginary visit with you. And I will retrieve my prized painted-gourd collection AND Juan Valdez, too! Coffee forever! My life's blood!