I made mayonnaise.

I used the Julia Child recipe, which turns out to be needlessly complicated and panicky because it's based on the stoneaged technology of the whisk. If you have a stick blender you don't really need to psyche yourself out with fears of curdling.

Problems I had:

• I should've made it in a big mug instead of trying to mess with a bowl. The stick blender wants a narrow, tall container, not a wide, flat container.
• Julia wants you to use yolks only. This means you are left with whites. You make an egg white omelet. You realize eggwhite omelets really suck.
• My free-range egg yolks are really yellow. My extra virgin cold pressed twice dated $7/oz California-hippy-excreted olive oil is really green. My mayonnaise was chartreuse.
• I was remembering the delicious warm aoli salad dressing I had at the French restaurant where my cousin that married the Smith girl had his wedding reception. But I used the juice of a crone of an old lemon I found lying around, and that plus the robust hairyleggedhippylady tang of the muscley olive oil I used and the oops, a little too much mustard made a real deisel-fueled product. Not a Smith girl mayonnaise. Sturgis girl mayonnaise, moreso.