Heeeey, I'm back!* This blog is about how to eat good on bitch money.

*This is a lie.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Larry McMurtry

When you're eating to win, you have to cook all day. The way I manage, I listen to Larry McMurtry books while I chop and chop and chop and chop and dice and mince and sauté and bake and stew and steam and blend and stir and eviscerate and wash and spin and rinse and drain. It is just verb verb verb verb verb when you're in the kitchen, and it's hot and dull in there. And in my kitchen they put the sink and counter in a stupid place nowhere near the window, so you're trapped standing in the same spot for hours, staring at tile. Also the lighting sucks and I lack the inclination to do anything about it. But for Larry McMurtry, I would die in there. Unfortunately, the version I have of All of My Friends Are Going To Be Strangers isn't read by Wolfram Kandinsky, if that is how you spell it. I hope it doesn't mean anything happened to Wolfram K. I would cry.

I've developed a rhythm with this. I lose weight Wednesday through Friday, hold steady Saturday through Tuesday, lose more weight the following Wednesday through Friday. So far it's working a treat. I was in fourth place last week because of all the Red Stripe you have to drink when you're on vacation, but I expect to see some movement this week.

Hey-Wow Things To Do With Kale!
You know, it turns out kale soup blows. But there is another hey-wow thing you can do with kale that doesn't. You can chop it up coarse, flash fry it 'til it's bright green (it's inedible at this point because it's still all fibrous), then snatch it out the pan and throw it in the food processor. It will be much reduced in bulk. Grind it all up, add basil, nuts, garlic, olive oil and cheese, grind some more, and you have pesto with greater food value than pesto without kale. It tastes mighty fine and is jewel green. These days I'm actually doing this with collards and the various weird ditchweeds sold by Ditchweed Guy at the farmers' market, not kale, because it's so hot nothing but collards and ditch weeds will grow. There's still basil, though, so I'm good.

Thank you, Larry McMurtry (I know you're reading this). I love you.


Anonymous said...

O-M-G, that was such a mean comment about Ditchweed Guy at the farmer's market. You know, Ditchweed Guy has an outlet at that one store, and I totally bought a whole bunch of louffah gourd plants because, as I've discovered from the internets, it is the perfect food. Why is it the perfect food? Because, dear comment reader, the tender, young gourds can be eaten much in the manner of acorn squash, and the tough, hoary gourds can be left to fester until they turn into highly useful louffah sponges. You cannot, however, eat the vines and leaves but I am sure you can let them dry out and then utilize them as you would flax, or perhaps kindling.

Anonymous said...

Whatchoo talkin bout? I read it over and I can't determine what you're objecting to. He sells ditchweeds, that's the truth. How is it mean? If anything it's high praise. No one else could get people to shell out a buck for stuff they could easily gather themselves in any vacant lot after two seconds research on edible wild plants.