Heeeey, I'm back!* This blog is about how to eat good on bitch money.

*This is a lie.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dark meat

That's the whole premise of this blog in two words. Dark meat is better eating and dark meat is better for you. Dark meat is also more expensive to produce. Which explains why it’s widely advertised to be fattening and nasty-tasting. Ads for McNuggets that tout their “all white meat” constitution as if it were an advantage are a lovely example of the big lie. Bigbreasted turkeys, too, are easy to make, and if you can convince the buying public that the breast is best, you can sell a ball of cheap dry fluff as a ball of butter. Agribusiness would like us all to adopt a trough mentality; they would like to feed us the same way they feed the animals they breed to feed us–biggest bang for littlest buck. That's your butterball: trough slurry. Chow.

Take a trip to Walmart and you can check out the success of the “feed people like livestock” plan so far. (There must be someplace other than WalMart to see people so fat they can’t walk, but WalMart is probably the closest.)

This must not stand. It may be looking a lot like Animal Farm around the ol’ homeland of late, but even so, we are not livestock. People do not eat chow.

We should all eat as well as we possibly can tomorrow, so that our thanks will be genuine.


corky said...

I admit I always loved white meat. Dark meat scared me: how greasy and icky it was!

These days I can eat it.... But it still seems not quite fresh to me--

Perhaps one should use it as a moisturizer for the skin instead of that udder balm!

For eating, gimme a white meat chicken cutlet-- Schnitzel!

Nom, nom, nom! said...

Corky, hon, you been eating the white fluff? naw, girl.

Now, today I was doing a little craft project and I admit I got me some corporate chicken to go along with it. A spicy mixed box. And I ate:

three drumsticks
a wing
two thighs.

My companion took care of the lion's share of the white meat, but I did get left with:

A breast.

grrrrl, the breast (the white meat)? it was naaaasty, hon.

Honey, what you go to remember, aaaaaaall the chicken is retarded. The breastesses and the thighziz: all both. The unctuous thighs/drums/wings are better, doh.

I don't know what is no white meat cutlet, but I guarantee you, it is just as retarded as the rest. The dark stuff is got more of the nutrints, so that is what you should eat for the LBP goodniss, hon.

Corky for the win!

Robin P said...

Look who is back on her bitchy, occasional blog...

You might try making regular (interesting) entries on this mess, or just let it die a neglected death.

What's with the convention food advice anywho? Is this blog all of sudden supposed to be about boring, practical food tips?

Your best stuff is your social observations about the End-the-World farmers market you love.

Let's here more about your companion who get the bulk of the white meat chicken. My guess: your lesbo girlfriend who isn't as picky an eater as you are. Would that be Proxxy, by chance?

Roxxy said...

Wow, is this is the REAL Robin P? Because this is the REAL Roxxy. I belong to a super elite club in which I use that name; I would tell you more about it but then I would have to kill you, kill myself and kill the other club members. Yes, in that order.
Can you "here" this? I am the companion who "get" the white meat --and it is not the white meat of Miss Nom's thigh!!
"Lesbo": seriously, Robin? Seriously?

Robin P said...

You are the "real" Roxxy? Discuss this notion in some Philosophy 101 for some "real" headaches.

This is as "real" as I get, babe.

What's wrong with being a lesbian?

The "real" Nom x 3! rarely responds to my posts here anymore. I am never certain WTF is going with dat broad.

I think my work here is done. This place is a simula-crap blog.