Behind, ahead, behind, ahead--it's a NIGHTmare!

Okay, so now I'm ahead again by a teenyweenybeentzie weentz. I gotta say this does not fill me with the pure light of joy, it just makes me more and more fearful. Recently a co-worker who for some reason has an issue with my almost fainting every time I stand up mentioned that part of my little obsession problem might be capitalism. I said, "O, heavens, no, it's not the money, the money is only $750, I just want to WIN." She nodded sagely and inclined her head gracefully to mutter something to her slender clavicle about competition and capitalism. But you know what? Whatever! She's a bald-headed buditist, so what does she know. (She's not really baldheaded but may as well be, as budditist as she acts all the damn time damn.) In a minute she'll be asking me to spend my exercise careens through the trackless brownfields sweeping the path before me with a special broom to clear insects out of the way of my thrashing cross trainers. Actually, dag, that would get in a ton of upper-body work, wouldn't i? Say... maybe being a budditiss is not such a bad strategy. You basically don't eat anything until you prostrate yourself before the meager bowl 47 times for each compass point or something, and even then you're probably supposed to joyfully gift half of your thin chick pea gruel to the koi pond in order that the koi within can attain higher states of koi consciousness on their journey to meet bodhi satvah or whateverthehellitis. Damn! Buddhism is an excellent diet and exercise regimen! No wonder that lady has those krazy klavicles goin' on.

A friend has agreed to try my diet (not this crazy bullshit I've been doing since June in order to slaughter all competitors and achieve Capitalist Nirvana, but my real, sane, how I lost all the weight I gained in my 20s diet). Another friend is cautiously interested. I am lobbying a certain family member hard. I sent that individual some links to terrifying studies today. Next step, the horse head in the bed. Soon everyone I know will be eating ditchweeds and achieving metabolic stasis. And all because of the tenacious Mr. Slick!

Green on Green Violence

Okay, so I explained about how to make pesto with kale (actually collards). So then what you do, you have your pesto in the 'fridge and you're using it in omelets and such, and then one day you make

Green on Green Violence
You wash some kale (actually collards) and rip it into random sized pieces and sear it. Then you put it in a dish and you put your pesto on that and some green pepper chunks and some chunks of parmesan. So it's just a MESS of green. Onto that you pour a little more olive oil and maybe some salt and you stir that around.

CONsume.

Economy Nosh
It's true how it costs more per unit of vegetation at the farmers' market than it does per unit of vegetation at the grocery store. It costs astronomically more per unit of cheese-shop parmesan than it costs per shake of dehydrated whey-influenced Dilithium Kristilz(R) or whatever the crap is in the shiny green cardboard cylinder with the yellow plastic shake/pour top. Or maybe it is a red plastic shake/pour top. Anyway, this is all true, about how you pay more for the edible comestible.

However, when you eat nothing but farmers' market fare and snob cheese, you eat far less. So a couple of units of vegetation will last you the week. So you come out better off moneywise. Mmmmhmm, you sure do.

For the past week I have lived on:
home food:

1 bunch chicory
1 bunch some other kind of lettucey ditch weeds
2 bunches collards
4 green peppers
1 can of sardines
about two Tbs feta cheese
pesto
eggs, 4+ per day
about 3 cups dry-roasted mixed nuts
4 peaches
parmesan
various fresh herbs

restaurant food:
1/2 a roast duck
a tilapia, fried hard like they do it at the good Mexican places
roasted vegetables
seared tuna
three oysters

You notice how there's no WHOLE GRAINS in there? That's 'cause I'm not eating them. That's why I'm not hungry. That's why I'm not spending $200/week on food. And that's why I'm going to win.