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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Rootcrops part whateveritis, OXTAILS!

Woooooo, GOBAMA! <-- first major offtopic veer ever to make it on here, please recognize.

Okay, Oxtails:
Oxtails used to be cheap trash meat but it's another thing like happened with black beans: the food of the lumpen has been taken on by the elite and rendered all expensive when it shouldn't be. Ain't it always the way?

Anyway, they make a stand-up borscht! Turns out.

I was recently told not to eat them by an anonymous commenter named blang gatang or something to whom I say, "Nothing doing, Flang Orang Atang, I am eating oxtails."

All they are is the tail of the cow; it's like eating necks or something. Who among us has not eaten a neck or two? Calm down about OX TAILS, people.

You simmer them in your stock for a while and take them out before they're too cooked to death. Pick all the meat off the bone. Discard the bone, reserve the meat.

A bunch of stuff is supposed to go in borscht, but basically you'll do fine with onions and beets. I didn't have any cabbage, so I put in a head of cauliflower (weird-seeming but actually pretty innocuous) and a broccoli stalk. No way was I putting in the flowerettes: I knew that would bitterify it pretty bad. It did not turn out too bitter.

The recipe calls for one pound of shredded beets, so I shredded a pound of beets, but the thing is, why do you want obliterated beets? The whole thing is that they're so satisfying to bite into. So at the last minute I diced another pound and put them in--late enough, you know, so they wouldn't be cooked to docility.

I used the recipe from Nothing Beets Borscht! a book of slavic cookery techniques that has like three to five borscht recipes in it. I don't know why I bothered because I ignored most of the instructions. I probably shouldn't even call what I made "borscht," since it doesn't have sausage in it. Okay, so I'll call it boosch. I was going to call it "Boosh," but that's probably copyright infringement (google Frisky Dingo® + Boosh®). Anyway, I'm not going to tell you how to make borscht or boosch because it's just soup, God! But basically the basic technique with the OXTAIL! YUM! is to take the shredded cowtailmeat out of the fridge and fry it up in a lot of butter and garlic and onion and salt and add it at the last minute. Deglaze the butterfried OXTAIL pan with some of the borscht or boosch or bosch broth and add the deglazins.

Durn. I mean "deglazins" to look like "squeezins," as in "corn squeezins," a term I stole from the Simpsons. But "deglazins" doesn't look right, it looks all hifalutin. If I put in an apostrophe, it looks like a possessive, not a dropped G. I hate our language. Only Obama can use it inoffensively. He is the only one allowed to talk or write in our language from now o


trang panang said...

I am in support of beets, esp cold beets- but I cannot have truck with these...

I also don't eat necks. Can't even look at them.

I also don't suck on marrow bones like I know some peeps do, or put a foot in my soup. One time, this lady made me soup and there was a damn foot in it! Damn!

Nom, nom, nom! said...

I ate a foot. I have eaten more than one foot.

I have eaten the feet of more than one species!



Nom, nom, nom! said...

PS: say that reminds me, they're going to put out a new Star Trek movie. Isn't that over? I guess not. I noticed that they were going to do this because I was in the theater watching the Keenoo movie (not as bad as they say!) and they put on a preview for the star trek movie. It's a prequel, right? So you meet James T. Kirk as a nipper? But the kid they got doesn't do the william shatner pausey voice. Why couldn't they get a professional junior Shatner immitator? Please explain this to me, trang panang.

trang panang said...

Dear Nom, your endorsement of foot eating troubles me. What's next? Eating shoes?????

Nom, nom, nom! said...

I don't really endorse foot-eating. I can't say I fully enjoyed any feet I ate. Feet tend to be gristly and fatty and, like, "What's the point?" I'm just saying, in a pinch? Better a foot than a shoe. (No shoes from China: they may say "all leather upper, sole man made," but how do we know the whole thing isn't made out of melamine? We don't know, that's how.)

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